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Today I learned the magic behind pacing myself and taking breaks. Sometimes I am so sick it literally feels like I can’t do anything. Cooking, cleaning and taking care of the lil ones takes so much out of me that every second on my feet is like walking on hot coals. I forgot to mention one of the biggest obstacles I face during all of my pregnancies is Hyperemesis Gravidarum, I have been meaning to blog and vlog about this condition but anyone who has ever dealt with it knows that making plans to do things is impossible when you’re dealing with the devil.

 I woke up feeling like I could die, staying in bed all day and not looking at my phone once was a tempting thought but then my 2 year old woke up and that plan went out of the window. After youtubing some prenatal yoga videos and workouts that I didn’t dare attempt I fed the kids and decided to go ahead and try cleaning up a bit. 

My plan was to sweep and mop the kitchen and clean the bathroom so that I could take a bath. I started by sweeping the kitchen and changing the kitty litter box of course these always take longer with my daughter Jordan (the 2 year old) popping in every five seconds to show me some scribble art or to ask for water or snacks. After I finally swept the kitchen and cleaned the box I was wiped out (embarrassing) but I kept going and swept the bathroom I felt the heartburn coming up and then the nausea and lightheadedness at that point I put back my broom and mop and stopped.

If I get back to it later I do, if not thats fine. Its taken me a minute but I am starting to get comfortable with doing what I can or at least doing something good enough, its how I manage to get anything done at all. When you are pregnant and in pain, feeling like crap its easy to just say screw it and not do anything. Usually when I don’t do anything at all I feel like crap for not getting things done, but now I am learning that every little bit counts and if all I can manage is to sweep its better than nothing at all. 

Going back to mop the floor isn’t going to be as hard as starting from the bottom, and thats how I will look at tasks from now on. Its all about starting and doing what you can. The guilt of not doing everything at once has been my downfall for too long now I am going to have to do what I can. Also I am learning that there are going to be times when I can’t do anything and I have to learn to deal with that without beating myself up emotionally about it. Here are some more get it done tips I find helpful when doing nothing is the easier option.

1. Make a list of what needs to be done in order from most to least urgent and start with the easiest task, whatever you can’t finish can go on a new list to do later.

2. Take advantage of the good times. There may only be a few minutes a day that you actually feel like some housework, a workout or even a shower won’t kill you, I call this power hour, USE IT! When you feel most energized get up and do that thing you have been meaning to do but remember to pace yourself, its easy to overexert yourself when you feel like superwoman and that will only set you back more later.

3. Take a break. When you have an unavoidable amount of work ahead of you do it in short sessions and then take a break. Stop and take a shower,have some coffee or tea (I know its bad but we’ll get back to that one later) Listen to some music anything that will relax you and baby. A break is my way of stopping something without guilt because it implies I am coming back to it which makes it easier to pull myself away. I HATE to stop in the middle of things. 

4. Pass your “to-do later” list on to your hubby or partner. Asking for help is another one of those things I hate to do especially when it comes to cleaning because I know I can do it better but right now I see that sometimes I need to do it just to get things done. Team work makes the dream work.

5. Kill the guilt. Do what you can and leave the guilt at the door. It’s gonna take time to let it go but realizing that sometimes all you can do is your best RIGHT NOW is gonna be a life saver. Don’t worry you can crank it back up after the baby.


Pregnancy Blues… Mega Mama RANT!!!!

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I know that all of my loyal followers *insert sarcasm* have been wondering where I have been and why my posts have suddenly come to a halt, and after months of sitting in a dark hole of sickness and depression I have decided that the best medicine right now is to do something I love so here I am sharing more of my ramblings with the world aka the 20 people who currently follow my blog and don’t bother to read it. 

Anyway I am currently 26 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child and while most days I am happy and excited about the beautiful life that is growing inside of me and all of the love my family is going to shower him/her with, some days I just feel like I have been hit by a bus and it isn’t just physical exhaustion it’s in my mind. I feel depressed and helpless. Most days I am sick the entire day and all I want to do is sleep and hide under a blanket, which would be easy except I have two lil ones here who need me. I don’t get days off from being a mom. 

My five year old son and daughter wake up at 7:45am almost without fail and sadly I am usually just getting to sleep at 6am between throwing up, heartburn and the baby kicking me all night I am lucky if I can get 45 minutes of sleep before the day officially starts. By the end of the week I am in a horrible mood and ready to scream. 

I don’t feel like myself and I don’t even look like myself. Seriously throwing up everyday ten times a day sometimes more will leave you looking like a zombie, NOT SEXY. I don’t feel sexy, I don’t wanna have sex and honestly just taking a shower takes everything in me. Standing and walking hurt like hell I have t start with a slow hunched over limp and then progress into walking. It feels like this baby is going to fall out any second.

I literally hate life right now, then I get to look at all the happy glowing pregnant mothers enjoying the miracle and it makes me want to slap them! YES I FEEL A VIOLENT RAGE. To make matters worse being the introvert that I am, instead of calling someone and talking about it and venting to a friend I decide to internalize it all, only to sit up at 3am angry at everyone for “not caring about me” I am actually not sure if I am upset because I am not giving my friends and family a chance to care or if I am upset because I actually know that if they did have the chance they literally would not care and now I am giving them an excuse for not caring later. 

Just writing this is making me feel guilty for complaining. I know there are women who would love to be in my position. There are women who can’t have children and would take every bad day I have and then some just for the gift of being able to give birth to a beautiful baby or three and they wouldn’t complain. But damn it this is about me and I am going to take a few minutes out and type my frustrations and own them if I fucking want! 


Tomorrow I will insist on doing something that makes me happy. After cleaning up this dump a home spa day is going down and if I have to lock myself away for three hours so be it. My skin, hair and nails deserve to be treated like they belong to someone who gives a fuck about them and its about time I pull myself out of this slump and get my sexy back or at least feel like a person and not some wild animal. Stay tuned! 

*does optimistic prance to the bathroom* 




My Alphasmart Obsession and a Longwinded BRIEF Rundown of Alpha History.


Have you ever been so excited about something that you became obsessed with it and everything even slightly related? Was there ever something that you stumbled upon and wondered how you ever go along without it?

Well, the AlphaSmart is my latest OMG thing. I first came across them online whilst scrolling through one of my favorite Facebook fan pages called Writers Write. The page was featuring a female blogger’s blog and there was a photo of some strange device sitting ever so comfortably on a picnic blanket in the grass.  I googled Neo and of course all I got was a bunch of posts about the movie The Matrix but somehow I knew that whatever it was she was referring to had nothing to do with Keanu Reeves.

Fast forward a week and I am on Facebook chatting with one of my tech crazy writer friends and they shoot me a link saying ‘people are recommending the hell out of these’ I clicked and there it was, the Neo.

Right away I knew what I was looking at and just what it was for. From the moment I saw her I knew I had to have her and all her friends. But before I give you all the filthy details of this little love triangle, let me tell you exactly what we’re talking about.

The AlphaSmart is a portable word processor that runs for 700 hours of heavy use on 3 AA barratries. It was initially developed by Apple engineers who were attempting to provide a durable, reliable and affordable alternative to laptop computers that students could use to take notes, write essays and use for classes without the added distraction and temptation of games, web browsing and other bells and whistles.

The AlphaSmart was also a long time essential tool for special needs students who have difficulty with handwriting and getting things down in a fast or timely manner. In the late 90s these things more than served their purpose and there are even some student success stories on youtube, blogs and forums.

Today teachers are still keeping AlphaSmart alive by ordering secondhand lots on Ebay, Amazon or from other sellers and using them in the classroom for students to take notes, quizzes and complete assignments. However with laptops and tablets being dirt cheap most schools have moved on from the AlphaSmart.

What’s fascinating is that the AlphaSmart has found a new fan base among many writers and continues to be a go to word processor for many authors, journalists and students. The Alpha is alway widely use by writers participating in NaNoWriMoThe (National November Novel writing Month) and at one point was actually being rented out for free during the event. It’s portable size, durability and amazing battery life all make it the perfect companion to anyone who needs a basic workhorse that will let you get the job done with no distractions.

Imagine the freedom of being able to write anywhere at anytime without ever having to worry about lugging around your laptop or searching for a power source. The added luxury of distraction free writing on a device that’s only purpose is write until you can’t think straight?  No games, no browsing, no loading just WRITING!

Once you are done banging out your novel, essay or article all you have to do is plug her into your computer or laptop via USB, hit the “send” key and watch as your words gracefully spread across the screen. This happens to be my new favorite part of the writing process, I totally feel like Doogie Howser MD sitting at my computer at the end of the day while I watch my words just tiptoe onto the monitor.


I’m actually in bed with the lights off writing this post on my AlphaSmart Dana which has a backbit screen that you can turn on and off to suit your needs. I’m getting it all done with no distractions, no Facebook or e-mail checks, no hot laptop burning a hole in my leg or bright lights making my eyes tired.

The AlphaSmart has done wonders for my productivity and I am simply in love with them. Anyone that knows me knows that I have been completely obsessed with all things AlphaSmart for the past 2 weeks. In fact, since first hearing about the Alpha I have purchased 3 different lots of AlphaSmarts online for unbelievable prices, some to resell and others as backups and craft projects. YES, I fully intend to join to tribe of Alphasmarties that disassembles and customizes their devices. Below is my somewhat failed attempt at pimping one of my alphas. She’s a work in progress.


Lets talk about the history of the Alphasmart and how far they have come over the years.

Original Alphasmart

ImageThe AlphaSmart line started with the original AlphaSmart which was first shipped out in 1993 and only was compatible with apple computers. There wasn’t much to them, they did what they needed to do. It was used for typing and sending files, I suppose that was pretty much all anyone cared about at the time. I would say underwhelming in terms of looks, however I still get a little tingly looking at it. I love old electronics sue me!

AlphaSmart Pro

ImageIn 1995 the AlphaSmart Pro was born. The Alphasmart pro looks exactly like the original Alphasmart only this device was compatible with mac and windows it was finally making its mark. Still kind of an eyesore but thats just my opinion.

AlphaSmart 2000

ImageEnter AlphaSmart 2000 in october of 97. This 3rd generation pretty much set the standard for all other models in terms of design. It was a curvy little blue number that had the added feature of spell check. Praise GAWD!!!

AlphaSmart 3000

ImageAs we move on in our journey we meet the AlphaSmart 3000 which was born in January of 2000. At this point in my research I am wondering to myself why I hadn’t heard of the Alphasmart at this point? The Alphasmart 3000 had pretty much the same look and feel of the 2000 only in a sexy translucent boni blue plastic casing that calls to mind the first imac computers. From the 3000 to the Neo are honestly the only Alphas worth getting in my opinion because they are still easily compatible with any computer (and even some tablets) today. All you need is a usb cord and you’re all set.

I should also mention that there are two different looks of the 3000. The Sexy dark green one above and this bondi blue one here. I’m not sure exactly why I have come across two different looks for the 3000 or what caused this but I will say I like them both in terms of looks, however the light blue ones tend to have issues with the keys sticking and not being clicky enough for my liking after awhile. Which would I am sure explain why the darker green ones have a total keyboard makeover…Did I just answer my own question? Either way heres the other one.


After the 3000 the Aphasmart brand was still going strong and producing processors that were and still are one of the best writing tools to date. By the way since I started writing this blog I have moved back and forth between 3 rooms and am now doing laundry just clicking away in the few minutes I have between loads.

AlphaSmart Dana

ImageIn the June of 2002 the Dana was launched. The Dana is the model I am typing on right this second and I am madly in love with her. Dana is a very different breed of Alpha. Unlike the other simple yet amazing Alphasmart devices the Dana is a Palm OS device. Anyone who has ever owned a palm device will feel nostalgic using the dana. The touchscreen and stylus are just a few perks of the dana. Its sleek design feels like like apple pie in your hands and the Alphaword Plus app is comparable to pretty much any other word processing software in terms of options and editing.


While I decidedly use all of my Alphasmarts solely as word processors and do my real editing on the computer, the Dana can be an all in one if you simply need to get it all done in one shot. As I mentioned earlier the Dana also has a backlit  (slightly larger) screen that can be turned on and off which I more than appreciate.Image

Other Alpha users will tell you that all you need is a clip on book light for the 3000 and the Neo which I agree is a great option. All the extra perks of the Dana come at a hefty price, Battery life! My Dana gobbled up batteries like pork chops and if you forget to send your docs before the battery dies you LOSE IT! Like LOST IT LOSE IT! So make sure you send your files regularly and also never let the battery die completely, keep an eye on it and you should be fine.

Some models of the Dana also have wifi capabilities ( like this one for example) however I have yet to use it nor to I desire to at this point. Another great perk of the Dana is that it also allows beaming of apps and docs to the Neo and vice versa which is another feature I LOVE, did  it last night with an ebook I am working on and lets just say I felt like a boss. Beaming is also a great way for using the Neo during the day and only using the Dana at night so you save batteries and only use it in low light.


ImageSpeaking of the Neo, this is our last (or should I say second to last) stop on the Alpha train. The Neo was first launched in August of 2004. Looking at the Neo will leave you thinking alphasmart decided to take it back to the old days. Its design is not exactly identical to the 3000 but we get the gist. The housing is a dark army green and in size and form it takes after the Dana, the screen is a happy medium between the large Dana and the smaller 3000.

If you showed most people that Dana and the Neo almost all of them would assume the Dana was the newer model which to me is hilarious. The Neo is perfect in just about every way except I wish it had an Alphaword Plus and backlit screen.

Of the batches of Alphas I ordered the Neo arrived first, the 3000s second and the Danas last. I only used the Neo and the entire time I as bitching and moaning about it not having a backlit screen. To some thats not a problem but for me its HUGE.

Somewhere around 2008 the Neo received a software update all of which really don’t matter to me. After the Neo it gets a little fuzzy all i remember off the top of my head is that a new company acquired AlphaAmart in the late 2000s called Renaissance Learning, which continued to manufacture and distribute Neos to schools in the US and UK. I believe you can still buy the Neo hubs on Ebay as well, they are probably awesome for homeschoolers.

In the summer of 2013 the Alphas met their fateful end and were finally discontinued, however the remaining inventory for the Neo 2 in the UK is still being sold and the support and software is still available.

Being that you can hop on eBay and get great deals on Alphasmarts I personally don’t see why anyone would pay 175 bucks for a neo 2, but honestly what do I know? I’m simply jamming all the info I have acquired in 2 weeks into a blog in an attempt to spread the word about this awesome word processor. I am still learning and trying to get an idea what all the apps are for and why they are needed. After all, the only thing I REALLY need my alphas to do is write and send the files to my computer, which all the models I currently own already do!

I think I’ve done a pretty bang up job briefly walking you all though the history of the alphas without the added super technical gibberish that even I don’t understand but to quickly give some last details I will run through some other minor things about the models I own.

At the moment i own the Neo (my love) the Dana (my lover) and the 3000 (the stepchild that I love like my own, I really don’t I’m just saying that because I want my marriage to work) They all came originally with the rechargeable batteries installed I am not sure yet if any of them work because I didn’t have a charger to test them but I will test that out soon enough.

With the Neo taking the rechargeable battery out was super easy all you have to do is unhook them and pop in some regular old AA batteries. According to everyone the Neo will last 700 hours of regular use so I was more than happy to hear that I didn’t just add another battery gobbling device to the roster of toys my children own. Also the Neo and 3000 models both have the simple to find “file” keys at the top of the keyboard labeled from 1-8, in my mind I can only assume there are 8 to accommodate 8 periods of classes for students which is pretty awesome but also it also means you can have eight files dedicated to different projects, book chapters, notes etc. The Neo can hold up to 800 pages of text, to some thats a novel, WHOA!

Don’t quote me but I am assuming the 3000 can hold the same and both of them have the same battery life which makes many people compare them to calculators in terms of power.

The 3000 when it comes to rechargeable battery was a pain in the ass! You literally have to unscrew the body and unplug the battery, which is located in the most awkward corner of the keyboard all the way at the top next to the power port. Once thats done you reassemble it and put in your own damn batteries! I actually think thats why I was able to get such a great AS IS deal on 3000s from Ebay. I am pretty sure the seller assumed that the rechargeable batteries didn’t work and they were selling a box of duds.

The Dana also had rechargeable batteries installed but much like the Neo all I had to do was unplug the cord and put in regular batteries.

If you are a writer, student or just someone who likes the idea of a basic portable word processor, I can’t stress enough how much of a game changer this device is. All I can say is get one! Do it now, you won’t regret it. It’s as simply as typing your document, sending it to your computer (which by the way also recognizes the alphas as an external keyboard) and send.

To be honest it doesn’t matter if you get a 3000, Neo or a Dana you will love them once you own them. Take it somewhere quiet and write, take it on a road trip, a plane ride, the bus, a coffee shop, to school, on a picnic, the beach, anywhere you can imagine and you will see why writing really should and can be done anywhere.

Once you are done pour yourself a drink sit back in your chair, plug your alpha into your computer and watch your words as they spill across the screen, there really is no feeling like it!

If you are new to the Alpha tribe or just googling up all the info you can about the AlphaSmart let me give you a link to the best group of alpha owners on the internet. This group is just filled with information, pics, tips and random posts. I love this Flickr group and can honestly say they are most welcoming and helpful.


Make sure to follow my blog for more updates and advice and if you are too lazy to google feel free to ask me any questions you may have. I am more than happy to help. Do you have an AlphaSmart? Have you ever used one? Do you love it? I’d like to know. Share your experiences and questions in the comment section.

Until next time STAY PRESSED ^_^

You Aren’t Special Because You Pushed a Baby Out of Your Vagina!

Super Mom

Since entering Club Motherhood just over four years ago there is a topic of discussion I continue to run into, and the self righteous heir of arrogance and judgment connected to it is something I am not at all here for.

Apparently there is a divide between those of us who have decided to give birth naturally (at home, vaginally, without painkillers,etc) and those of us who have chosen, be it for emergency reasons or personal preference to give birth in a hospital with the assistance of painkillers, c-section and things of that nature. For some reason it seems that women who were able to give birth “the all natural way” took their well deserved bragging rights and ran to the next dimension,  by that I mean they are demented.

I have come across women who basically brag to anyone who will listen about the gruesome tale of how they pushed a 10 pound baby out of their vagina “and with no meds I might add” and then gloat in the afterglow like they just found a cure for Cancer. It annoys me mostly when I mention that I had a C- section with both of my children.

Usually they say ask me why, but before I can open my mouth again they go into full on brag mode and everything from that point on is just a blur of words and graphic reenactments. Most of them upon hearing that I had a c section, make the aww face like they feel bad for me for missing out on the bloodbath that is child birth.

I realize that giving birth is an amazing experience and I also realize that its a moment to be proud of, its not something that I just blow off as one of those things that people do everyday (even though they do) however, I hate that every natural mama feels like they are above anyone who gets an epidural and doesn’t just thug it out on the living room floor.

The whole “your body was made for this” speech is older than dirt and I am over it. Yes, women are physically equipped to give birth but things do happen beyond our control and while I know women used to pop babies out in the jungle with no meds, people also like to leave out the fact that many of those women and children died during delivery.

Here is the thing I don’t at all approve of the superiority complex women who deliver naturally seem to have when around other women who took another road. At the end of the day we all walked out of the hospital mothers and will be for the rest of our lives and thats what matters. The next time some total stranger gives me the proud longwinded story about how fast and easy their delivery was, I am going to tell them that Dominos still delivers in 30 minutes.

Maybelline Color Show Polkadot CLEARLY SPOTTED

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Okay so if you have been following my blog AT ALL you should know that my latest polish obsession is Maybelline’s color show polkadot collection! The last post was about how in love I am with Drops of Jade, their jaded polkadot polish that just makes me want to twirl?  Well, I finally have got my hands on all of the colors (even though I had to get my best friend to send me “Pretty in Polka” from Virginia because I can’t seem to find it out here in Jersey anywhere) I have them all now and today I am going to be reviewing Clearly Spotted, so far it’s my new favorite and what may possibly be my all time favorite shade in this entire collection!

I was able to track down Clearly Spotted at one of the two Walmarts I go to, and from the first coat to the last I was in love. This shade unlike all the rest is  very versatile because its…well… clear! Basically there is no base color so while the other shades have colors like jade, blue, orange and pink as bases, Clearly Spotted is simply a clear polish with adorable black and white glitter,sprinkles and polkadots. I could especially see using this over a black or white polish,  but it seriously would look great over so many other shades and of course it looks amazing alone! There is almost nothing this polish would not go well with. At first I was a little put off by it because I was like “hmmm it’s really just clear?” But once I put on the second coat, I was madly in love.

To be honest I will probably be wearing this polish often, it’s perfect for those times when I just want to have a cute look that screams “I love to do my nails”, when really I just don’t have the time or desire to actually put any effort into doing them at all! It’s the perfect “cheat polish” because I swear, it looks like I spent at lease and hour perfecting this splashed graffiti look!

I used two coats on each hand and let me tell you, for a chunky polish this stuff goes on smooth and it lasts for days! This time I actually DID use a top coat, and it hasn’t chipped once in four days which says a lot! Anyway check out my nails in Clearly Dotted and share your experiences with this collection! I know I personally can not get enough of it!  Make sure to follow my blog and look out for my next polish review!

Talk about a FREAK Accident! Chinese couple falls out of their apartment window while having sex and DIES!!!


Now I’ve been known to find out things a little late, but this??? This is news to me! Apparently a Chinese couple in Wuhan, Central China died this summer while in the middle of having (what I only hope was) the best sex ever!

These two lil mcnasties, were supposedly just gettin it in one hot summer afternoon against a poorly constructed window, but I guess homeboy went for that death stroke and caused the glass to shatter sending the couple plummeting to their death from their apartment window in central China.

Witnesses said that they saw the couple holding each other tightly on the way down and soon after medics arrived to assist but it was too late.

I don’t know, something about this story just amuses all my sick, dark, twisted humor bones and I really can’t stop laughing. No matter how many articles of this story I read they all for some reason are extremely hilarious to me and I feel like a horrible person for getting such a laugh from this tragedy.

To be clear, I don’t find the fact that these two lost their lives while boning at all amusing. But theres just no way I can hear this story and not chuckle, if that makes me a piece of shit then I will wear that badge proudly but I think this really takes the cake when it comes to freak accidents.

Whats the weirdest place you’ve ever had sex, and are windows now out of the question?

Read more about this freak accident here!!!

Till Next Time, Stay PRESSED