My Alphasmart Obsession and a Longwinded BRIEF Rundown of Alpha History.

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Have you ever been so excited about something that you became obsessed with it and everything even slightly related? Was there ever something that you stumbled upon and wondered how you ever go along without it?

Well, the AlphaSmart is my latest OMG thing. I first came across them online whilst scrolling through one of my favorite Facebook fan pages called Writers Write. The page was featuring a female blogger’s blog and there was a photo of some strange device sitting ever so comfortably on a picnic blanket in the grass.  I googled Neo and of course all I got was a bunch of posts about the movie The Matrix but somehow I knew that whatever it was she was referring to had nothing to do with Keanu Reeves.

Fast forward a week and I am on Facebook chatting with one of my tech crazy writer friends and they shoot me a link saying ‘people are recommending the hell out of these’ I clicked and there it was, the Neo.

Right away I knew what I was looking at and just what it was for. From the moment I saw her I knew I had to have her and all her friends. But before I give you all the filthy details of this little love triangle, let me tell you exactly what we’re talking about.

The AlphaSmart is a portable word processor that runs for 700 hours of heavy use on 3 AA barratries. It was initially developed by Apple engineers who were attempting to provide a durable, reliable and affordable alternative to laptop computers that students could use to take notes, write essays and use for classes without the added distraction and temptation of games, web browsing and other bells and whistles.

The AlphaSmart was also a long time essential tool for special needs students who have difficulty with handwriting and getting things down in a fast or timely manner. In the late 90s these things more than served their purpose and there are even some student success stories on youtube, blogs and forums.

Today teachers are still keeping AlphaSmart alive by ordering secondhand lots on Ebay, Amazon or from other sellers and using them in the classroom for students to take notes, quizzes and complete assignments. However with laptops and tablets being dirt cheap most schools have moved on from the AlphaSmart.

What’s fascinating is that the AlphaSmart has found a new fan base among many writers and continues to be a go to word processor for many authors, journalists and students. The Alpha is alway widely use by writers participating in NaNoWriMoThe (National November Novel writing Month) and at one point was actually being rented out for free during the event. It’s portable size, durability and amazing battery life all make it the perfect companion to anyone who needs a basic workhorse that will let you get the job done with no distractions.

Imagine the freedom of being able to write anywhere at anytime without ever having to worry about lugging around your laptop or searching for a power source. The added luxury of distraction free writing on a device that’s only purpose is write until you can’t think straight?  No games, no browsing, no loading just WRITING!

Once you are done banging out your novel, essay or article all you have to do is plug her into your computer or laptop via USB, hit the “send” key and watch as your words gracefully spread across the screen. This happens to be my new favorite part of the writing process, I totally feel like Doogie Howser MD sitting at my computer at the end of the day while I watch my words just tiptoe onto the monitor.

 

I’m actually in bed with the lights off writing this post on my AlphaSmart Dana which has a backbit screen that you can turn on and off to suit your needs. I’m getting it all done with no distractions, no Facebook or e-mail checks, no hot laptop burning a hole in my leg or bright lights making my eyes tired.

The AlphaSmart has done wonders for my productivity and I am simply in love with them. Anyone that knows me knows that I have been completely obsessed with all things AlphaSmart for the past 2 weeks. In fact, since first hearing about the Alpha I have purchased 3 different lots of AlphaSmarts online for unbelievable prices, some to resell and others as backups and craft projects. YES, I fully intend to join to tribe of Alphasmarties that disassembles and customizes their devices. Below is my somewhat failed attempt at pimping one of my alphas. She’s a work in progress.

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Lets talk about the history of the Alphasmart and how far they have come over the years.

Original Alphasmart

ImageThe AlphaSmart line started with the original AlphaSmart which was first shipped out in 1993 and only was compatible with apple computers. There wasn’t much to them, they did what they needed to do. It was used for typing and sending files, I suppose that was pretty much all anyone cared about at the time. I would say underwhelming in terms of looks, however I still get a little tingly looking at it. I love old electronics sue me!

AlphaSmart Pro

ImageIn 1995 the AlphaSmart Pro was born. The Alphasmart pro looks exactly like the original Alphasmart only this device was compatible with mac and windows it was finally making its mark. Still kind of an eyesore but thats just my opinion.

AlphaSmart 2000

ImageEnter AlphaSmart 2000 in october of 97. This 3rd generation pretty much set the standard for all other models in terms of design. It was a curvy little blue number that had the added feature of spell check. Praise GAWD!!!

AlphaSmart 3000

ImageAs we move on in our journey we meet the AlphaSmart 3000 which was born in January of 2000. At this point in my research I am wondering to myself why I hadn’t heard of the Alphasmart at this point? The Alphasmart 3000 had pretty much the same look and feel of the 2000 only in a sexy translucent boni blue plastic casing that calls to mind the first imac computers. From the 3000 to the Neo are honestly the only Alphas worth getting in my opinion because they are still easily compatible with any computer (and even some tablets) today. All you need is a usb cord and you’re all set.

I should also mention that there are two different looks of the 3000. The Sexy dark green one above and this bondi blue one here. I’m not sure exactly why I have come across two different looks for the 3000 or what caused this but I will say I like them both in terms of looks, however the light blue ones tend to have issues with the keys sticking and not being clicky enough for my liking after awhile. Which would I am sure explain why the darker green ones have a total keyboard makeover…Did I just answer my own question? Either way heres the other one.

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After the 3000 the Aphasmart brand was still going strong and producing processors that were and still are one of the best writing tools to date. By the way since I started writing this blog I have moved back and forth between 3 rooms and am now doing laundry just clicking away in the few minutes I have between loads.

AlphaSmart Dana

ImageIn the June of 2002 the Dana was launched. The Dana is the model I am typing on right this second and I am madly in love with her. Dana is a very different breed of Alpha. Unlike the other simple yet amazing Alphasmart devices the Dana is a Palm OS device. Anyone who has ever owned a palm device will feel nostalgic using the dana. The touchscreen and stylus are just a few perks of the dana. Its sleek design feels like like apple pie in your hands and the Alphaword Plus app is comparable to pretty much any other word processing software in terms of options and editing.

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While I decidedly use all of my Alphasmarts solely as word processors and do my real editing on the computer, the Dana can be an all in one if you simply need to get it all done in one shot. As I mentioned earlier the Dana also has a backlit  (slightly larger) screen that can be turned on and off which I more than appreciate.Image

Other Alpha users will tell you that all you need is a clip on book light for the 3000 and the Neo which I agree is a great option. All the extra perks of the Dana come at a hefty price, Battery life! My Dana gobbled up batteries like pork chops and if you forget to send your docs before the battery dies you LOSE IT! Like LOST IT LOSE IT! So make sure you send your files regularly and also never let the battery die completely, keep an eye on it and you should be fine.

Some models of the Dana also have wifi capabilities ( like this one for example) however I have yet to use it nor to I desire to at this point. Another great perk of the Dana is that it also allows beaming of apps and docs to the Neo and vice versa which is another feature I LOVE, did  it last night with an ebook I am working on and lets just say I felt like a boss. Beaming is also a great way for using the Neo during the day and only using the Dana at night so you save batteries and only use it in low light.

NEO

ImageSpeaking of the Neo, this is our last (or should I say second to last) stop on the Alpha train. The Neo was first launched in August of 2004. Looking at the Neo will leave you thinking alphasmart decided to take it back to the old days. Its design is not exactly identical to the 3000 but we get the gist. The housing is a dark army green and in size and form it takes after the Dana, the screen is a happy medium between the large Dana and the smaller 3000.

If you showed most people that Dana and the Neo almost all of them would assume the Dana was the newer model which to me is hilarious. The Neo is perfect in just about every way except I wish it had an Alphaword Plus and backlit screen.

Of the batches of Alphas I ordered the Neo arrived first, the 3000s second and the Danas last. I only used the Neo and the entire time I as bitching and moaning about it not having a backlit screen. To some thats not a problem but for me its HUGE.

Somewhere around 2008 the Neo received a software update all of which really don’t matter to me. After the Neo it gets a little fuzzy all i remember off the top of my head is that a new company acquired AlphaAmart in the late 2000s called Renaissance Learning, which continued to manufacture and distribute Neos to schools in the US and UK. I believe you can still buy the Neo hubs on Ebay as well, they are probably awesome for homeschoolers.

In the summer of 2013 the Alphas met their fateful end and were finally discontinued, however the remaining inventory for the Neo 2 in the UK is still being sold and the support and software is still available.

Being that you can hop on eBay and get great deals on Alphasmarts I personally don’t see why anyone would pay 175 bucks for a neo 2, but honestly what do I know? I’m simply jamming all the info I have acquired in 2 weeks into a blog in an attempt to spread the word about this awesome word processor. I am still learning and trying to get an idea what all the apps are for and why they are needed. After all, the only thing I REALLY need my alphas to do is write and send the files to my computer, which all the models I currently own already do!

I think I’ve done a pretty bang up job briefly walking you all though the history of the alphas without the added super technical gibberish that even I don’t understand but to quickly give some last details I will run through some other minor things about the models I own.

At the moment i own the Neo (my love) the Dana (my lover) and the 3000 (the stepchild that I love like my own, I really don’t I’m just saying that because I want my marriage to work) They all came originally with the rechargeable batteries installed I am not sure yet if any of them work because I didn’t have a charger to test them but I will test that out soon enough.

With the Neo taking the rechargeable battery out was super easy all you have to do is unhook them and pop in some regular old AA batteries. According to everyone the Neo will last 700 hours of regular use so I was more than happy to hear that I didn’t just add another battery gobbling device to the roster of toys my children own. Also the Neo and 3000 models both have the simple to find “file” keys at the top of the keyboard labeled from 1-8, in my mind I can only assume there are 8 to accommodate 8 periods of classes for students which is pretty awesome but also it also means you can have eight files dedicated to different projects, book chapters, notes etc. The Neo can hold up to 800 pages of text, to some thats a novel, WHOA!

Don’t quote me but I am assuming the 3000 can hold the same and both of them have the same battery life which makes many people compare them to calculators in terms of power.

The 3000 when it comes to rechargeable battery was a pain in the ass! You literally have to unscrew the body and unplug the battery, which is located in the most awkward corner of the keyboard all the way at the top next to the power port. Once thats done you reassemble it and put in your own damn batteries! I actually think thats why I was able to get such a great AS IS deal on 3000s from Ebay. I am pretty sure the seller assumed that the rechargeable batteries didn’t work and they were selling a box of duds.

The Dana also had rechargeable batteries installed but much like the Neo all I had to do was unplug the cord and put in regular batteries.

If you are a writer, student or just someone who likes the idea of a basic portable word processor, I can’t stress enough how much of a game changer this device is. All I can say is get one! Do it now, you won’t regret it. It’s as simply as typing your document, sending it to your computer (which by the way also recognizes the alphas as an external keyboard) and send.

To be honest it doesn’t matter if you get a 3000, Neo or a Dana you will love them once you own them. Take it somewhere quiet and write, take it on a road trip, a plane ride, the bus, a coffee shop, to school, on a picnic, the beach, anywhere you can imagine and you will see why writing really should and can be done anywhere.

Once you are done pour yourself a drink sit back in your chair, plug your alpha into your computer and watch your words as they spill across the screen, there really is no feeling like it!

If you are new to the Alpha tribe or just googling up all the info you can about the AlphaSmart let me give you a link to the best group of alpha owners on the internet. This group is just filled with information, pics, tips and random posts. I love this Flickr group and can honestly say they are most welcoming and helpful.

http://www.flickr.com/groups/alphasmart/discuss/

Make sure to follow my blog for more updates and advice and if you are too lazy to google feel free to ask me any questions you may have. I am more than happy to help. Do you have an AlphaSmart? Have you ever used one? Do you love it? I’d like to know. Share your experiences and questions in the comment section.

Until next time STAY PRESSED ^_^

You Aren’t Special Because You Pushed a Baby Out of Your Vagina!

Super Mom

Since entering Club Motherhood just over four years ago there is a topic of discussion I continue to run into, and the self righteous heir of arrogance and judgment connected to it is something I am not at all here for.

Apparently there is a divide between those of us who have decided to give birth naturally (at home, vaginally, without painkillers,etc) and those of us who have chosen, be it for emergency reasons or personal preference to give birth in a hospital with the assistance of painkillers, c-section and things of that nature. For some reason it seems that women who were able to give birth “the all natural way” took their well deserved bragging rights and ran to the next dimension,  by that I mean they are demented.

I have come across women who basically brag to anyone who will listen about the gruesome tale of how they pushed a 10 pound baby out of their vagina “and with no meds I might add” and then gloat in the afterglow like they just found a cure for Cancer. It annoys me mostly when I mention that I had a C- section with both of my children.

Usually they say ask me why, but before I can open my mouth again they go into full on brag mode and everything from that point on is just a blur of words and graphic reenactments. Most of them upon hearing that I had a c section, make the aww face like they feel bad for me for missing out on the bloodbath that is child birth.

I realize that giving birth is an amazing experience and I also realize that its a moment to be proud of, its not something that I just blow off as one of those things that people do everyday (even though they do) however, I hate that every natural mama feels like they are above anyone who gets an epidural and doesn’t just thug it out on the living room floor.

The whole “your body was made for this” speech is older than dirt and I am over it. Yes, women are physically equipped to give birth but things do happen beyond our control and while I know women used to pop babies out in the jungle with no meds, people also like to leave out the fact that many of those women and children died during delivery.

Here is the thing I don’t at all approve of the superiority complex women who deliver naturally seem to have when around other women who took another road. At the end of the day we all walked out of the hospital mothers and will be for the rest of our lives and thats what matters. The next time some total stranger gives me the proud longwinded story about how fast and easy their delivery was, I am going to tell them that Dominos still delivers in 30 minutes.

Maybelline Color Show Polkadot CLEARLY SPOTTED

clearly dotted

Okay so if you have been following my blog AT ALL you should know that my latest polish obsession is Maybelline’s color show polkadot collection! The last post was about how in love I am with Drops of Jade, their jaded polkadot polish that just makes me want to twirl?  Well, I finally have got my hands on all of the colors (even though I had to get my best friend to send me “Pretty in Polka” from Virginia because I can’t seem to find it out here in Jersey anywhere) I have them all now and today I am going to be reviewing Clearly Spotted, so far it’s my new favorite and what may possibly be my all time favorite shade in this entire collection!

I was able to track down Clearly Spotted at one of the two Walmarts I go to, and from the first coat to the last I was in love. This shade unlike all the rest is  very versatile because its…well… clear! Basically there is no base color so while the other shades have colors like jade, blue, orange and pink as bases, Clearly Spotted is simply a clear polish with adorable black and white glitter,sprinkles and polkadots. I could especially see using this over a black or white polish,  but it seriously would look great over so many other shades and of course it looks amazing alone! There is almost nothing this polish would not go well with. At first I was a little put off by it because I was like “hmmm it’s really just clear?” But once I put on the second coat, I was madly in love.

To be honest I will probably be wearing this polish often, it’s perfect for those times when I just want to have a cute look that screams “I love to do my nails”, when really I just don’t have the time or desire to actually put any effort into doing them at all! It’s the perfect “cheat polish” because I swear, it looks like I spent at lease and hour perfecting this splashed graffiti look!

I used two coats on each hand and let me tell you, for a chunky polish this stuff goes on smooth and it lasts for days! This time I actually DID use a top coat, and it hasn’t chipped once in four days which says a lot! Anyway check out my nails in Clearly Dotted and share your experiences with this collection! I know I personally can not get enough of it!  Make sure to follow my blog and look out for my next polish review!

Talk about a FREAK Accident! Chinese couple falls out of their apartment window while having sex and DIES!!!

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Now I’ve been known to find out things a little late, but this??? This is news to me! Apparently a Chinese couple in Wuhan, Central China died this summer while in the middle of having (what I only hope was) the best sex ever!

These two lil mcnasties, were supposedly just gettin it in one hot summer afternoon against a poorly constructed window, but I guess homeboy went for that death stroke and caused the glass to shatter sending the couple plummeting to their death from their apartment window in central China.

Witnesses said that they saw the couple holding each other tightly on the way down and soon after medics arrived to assist but it was too late.

I don’t know, something about this story just amuses all my sick, dark, twisted humor bones and I really can’t stop laughing. No matter how many articles of this story I read they all for some reason are extremely hilarious to me and I feel like a horrible person for getting such a laugh from this tragedy.

To be clear, I don’t find the fact that these two lost their lives while boning at all amusing. But theres just no way I can hear this story and not chuckle, if that makes me a piece of shit then I will wear that badge proudly but I think this really takes the cake when it comes to freak accidents.

Whats the weirdest place you’ve ever had sex, and are windows now out of the question?

Read more about this freak accident here!!!

Till Next Time, Stay PRESSED

Maybelline Color Show Polka Dot collection I’M PRESSED over Drops of Jade!

Its Sunday and I am here PRESSED as ever over this new collection of polishes from Maybelline!!!! Now, anyone who knows me I mean REALLY knows me, knows that I love my nail polish and I love spending a few minutes out of some days just polishing and designing my nails, its relaxing and always a good me time hobby, but sometimes I just don’t have the time. Still, not having the time doesn’t mean I don’t want my key tappers to look cute!

A few days ago I came across a photo on facebook that made me rush right out and grab this polish, AND I AM IN LOVE. I can swipe on a coat and have instant polkadot nail art right out of the bottle!

When I look at my nails I can NOT believe its just from a single polish! Anyone would think I spent time strategically placing these little nail confetti sprinkles on my nails when really it was no work at all! I almost feel guilty for cheating such a cute look but to soothe my guilt I am gonna share it with you all, that way the secret is out and we can all have fabulous cute trendy nails without spending an hour at the salon or the kitchen table trying to achieve it.

Here are all the colors offered in this collection:

(from the left) Drops of Jade, Dotty, Clearly Spotted, Pretty in Polka and Blue Marks!!!
(from the left) Drops of Jade, Dotty, Clearly Spotted, Pretty in Polka and Blue Marks!!!

This photo does NAWT do these shades justice! But thats why I’m here!

Unfortunately the Walmart I went to only had two colors, Drops of Jade and Blue Marks, and at just under three bucks a pop you better believe I got em both and love em both!  these polishes is that they are super crazy affordable I mean when I got to the (much hated) self checkout at Walmart and scanned these bad boys and saw the price? UGH !!!! If they’d had all the colors I would have stocked UP!

These polishes apply nice and easy (I used two coats) and it dries to a smooth shiny finish!  Also, they don’t take forever to dry either so #winning.  I would say each application lasts about a week before chipping ( I was too lazy to use a top coat this time) not to mention thats with me washing dishes everyday, so I am more than satisfied!

Today I will be showing off Drops of Jade, this polish is just too adorable!!! Its a Pretty shade of Jade that pops with navy blue and white sprinkles, polkadots and confetti flakes its AMAZING!!!!

I can’t wait to track down the rest of this collection! Riteaid here I come

ANYWAY check out my nails  in Drops of Jade!!!!

Maybelline Color Show Polkadots in "Drops Of Jade"

Weave VENDING MACHINES?

Weave Vending Machines coming to a liquor store near you!
Weave Vending Machines coming to a liquor store near you!

It seems the days of vending machines being used for things like candy, chips, beverages, condoms and movies are far behind us. Now THE MANE VENDOR vending machines also will be the easy solution to buying hair! YES hair! When I first saw the article I was more than turned off for many reasons the biggest being that I find it rather insulting that there is even a market for something like this, the other being that apparently the testing phases are over and women everywhere are just gobbling up vending machine hair like 99 cent burgers at Mcdonalds!

I remember when I was 14 the thought of going to the supermarket and buying maxi pads and tampons was mortifying. I didn’t see it as my first huge step into womanhood or adulthood I didn’t think of it as a ticket to the cool girl’s club in the girl’s bathroom at school. I thought ugh I’m bleeding from my vagina and everyone is going to know! At that age I didn’t want to think about much less even talk about my vagina and the idea of walking around a grocery store in view of everyone holding that bright blue box with wings on it screaming that just screamed “hey everybody we got a bleeder” was not my idea of a good time. But then those were the days that people had dignity. There were some things that you just didn’t talk about or make public knowledge and even then buying hair was something you kinda did discreetly. I mean yeah everybody knew it wasn’t yours, and they knew you had to have at some point walked into a store and paid cash for it, but it was one of those things that just wasn’t the topic of discussion.

I suppose because it’s just expected that every woman you see is wearing fake hair, nails and boobs buying it from a vending machine isn’t much of an issue when it comes to privacy or discretion. Just when natural hair is starting to really take off BOOM weave vending machines swoop in and make buying fake hair as easy (however much more expensive) as buying a bag of peanut M&Ms.  Sorry Beyonce looks like your “big chop” didn’t change the world or wigs and weave as I had anticipated. These women just don’t have sense enough to be shamed!

MMM MMM MMM!!!

Now I do realize that my crazy vision of weave machines being placed at random places like the movie theaters, the gym and gas stations is reaching a bit, in fact from what I have read they are mostly going to be offered in salons to replace the need for owners to buy hair from vendors and to help cut costs on of having someone who is paid to keep track of the weaves coming and goings and also take out the middle man and hair suppliers.

These machines aren’t your average high school lunch room vending machines either! They offer real time text message updates on sales, alert the owner when the supply is low, and even come equipped with security surveillance and alarm system capabilities should someone get a little desperate and go on a weave heist!!! It seems like they have thought of everything in terms of practicality, and looking at it from a business standpoint I honestly can not argue that this will be a huge money maker not only in the cost cutting, but it offers anyone interested in going into business for themselves an opportunity to become licensee and earn what seems like unlimited income considering the market there always was and probably always will be for hair, so no qualms there.

I get it, it’s a business that will revolutionize the way people spend their money on hair. I should also mention this was developed and distributed by an african american woman so by all means get ya money honey!  At the very least a black woman is making some money off this fake hair obsession so I’m not hating!

I think that my biggest issue really is simply that they exist. Do we really need new and more advanced ways to spend our money on superficial things that add to a false sense of self? Are Jordans not enough? The fact that I can get weave from a vending machine and can’t get fresh fruit. Can a sista get a apple? Some leggings? A disposable cell phone battery, healthy baby snacks, something I can use on the go that makes sense! I don’t need hair readily available when I am out and about.

Even in a salon, hair in a vending machine is the least of my concerns. When I am in a salon (which I never am) the one thing that I need most is headphones to drown out the ramblings of baby daddy drama, how drunk home girl next to me was last night at the club, and how the customer that just walked outs edges were snatched to the gawds! But then thats just me because apparently these vending machines are an amazing idea that stand to make a shitload of cash. Mmmmk girl…I guess!!!

What are some more important things YOU would like to see in vending machines besides hair? I can think of more than a few myself!

Till Next Time… Stay PRESSED!

What is Pam Pressed?

Hello there, chances are you made the horrible mistake of stumbling upon my blog, or perhaps someone who hates you sent you here for a taste of my obnoxious rants and ramblings. However you got here, I think it’s only fair that I introduce myself and tell you a little about what this blog is all about.

Well, I’m Pam and the name PamPressed has nothing at all to do with the fact that this blog is on wordpress though that would be equally as clever, I can’t say thats the case. PamPressed is a name I’ve been affectionately referred to while on one of my many longwinded rants. Because I am Pam and I am also often times very pressed. Being pressed is what I do and people tend to find it amusing so I only thought it fair to share my pressed-ness with you all on a daily basis.  “what exactly is pressed?” you might be wondering, well allow me to explain.

You know that tiny annoyance that always nags away at you, that you can’t stop harping on and rehashing? Like the time someone cut you off while you were driving to Whole Foods and for weeks every time you saw a red car you started shouting obscenities and flipping the bird to innocent old ladies when you caught them at a red light? That mindless comment by a total stranger, that lead to an hour long, back and forth rage filled rampage of comment responses, along with photo comments and gifs about why they should love Beyonce as much as you and dedicate their lives to her every breath? You know that guy in high school 13 years ago that you just never got over? The one you stalk on facebook and talk about all the time like he’s a relevant person in your life, even though if he himself saw you at the supermarket today he would have no idea whatsoever who you are or ever were? PRESSED!!!!

Being pressed is anytime you or someone you know finds themselves unexplainably consumed by a situation (that no one else but you really gives a fuck about) and spends a ridiculous amount of time harping, ranting, and rehashing it over and over and over and over. Being pressed is something that I understand all too well.  I can’t help it! People annoy me, things annoy me, and I have to speak on it (at length) if needed, or I would probably be the biggest asshole offline!

Anyway, in short this blog is a clusterfuck of my impassioned rants, afterthoughts and of course random ramblings on current events, entertainment, and news (that I find interesting of course) I hope you enjoy my pressed-ness as much as I love being pressed! Feel free to interact with me, comment, tell me just how pressed and annoying I am and also share my blog on facebook, twitter or any other social media network that you feel could use a dose of my crazy!

Till Next Time, Stay PRESSED!

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